Someone out there has a sense of humor…Part II
I did it. I called the doctor and got an appointment for Thursday…..We have Kaiser. When calling Kaiser you have to call the appointment line in order to schedule said appointment.
Not a problem…..unless they can’t help you. They have criteria they must follow when receiving certain calls. The procedure is that you are transferred to the Advice Nurse who will then do a sudo triage over the phone. This determines whether or not you come in right now or you can wait and if any lab work needs to be done prior to the appointment. Certain appointments are kept locked up and only the advice nurse can free up that time slot. I’m sure that is basic with most HMO’s.
I get transferred to the advice nurse………….as you know, my recent problem is dealing with a delicate feminine issue. I have had my monthly cycle going on 4 weeks. It pains me to see that in black and white.
When the voice came across the line, I was a little speechless and replied …”Oh, that figures!!” …I was really hoping I hadn’t said that out loud…but the next comment made me realize that,”Yes…I did say that out loud . It wasn’t in my head”…..I am groaning at this point. Then I heard this deep, almost “Barry White” sounding masculine voice say, “Excuse Me??”
Of all the days to get a male advice nurse ,figures it would be today. I would have overlooked the fact that I was speaking to the “Male Advice Nurse” any other time but “Oh Please God, not today…not with this.” If you were ever in doubt…..God does have a sense of humor.
The questions were not easy to answer…I’m sure he was as uncomfortable asking them as I was answering them…..He tried to speak with as little emotion in his voice as possible. while I was trying to be as discreet as possible with out being gross.
The questions ranged from a description of the flow, length of time, was I using a panty liner or a regular pad. I don’t think I really need to go into details regarding the questions. Use your imagination, there were several that left me stumbling over my words.
Anyone who has spoken to me over the phone knows that doesn’t happen often if at all!! I am groaning in my head with each response. We made it thru the triage questions and he scheduled the blood work to be done and the appointment. This all took place at 10:00 this morning.
There was some confusion over the appointment. Kaiser called back this afternoon, around 4:00. The nurse,(female this time) sheepishly asks me if she can ask an unusual question. She goes on to clarify that they are not used to scheduling appointments for males and was there some reason that Charles P*****, age 11 needed an OBGYN apppointment. I started laughing.
I new what had happened. While I was trying to get my appointment, I was having to reschedule Charlie’s allergy appointment. Some how he ended up with both appointments.
The nurse said, that appointment had the whole floor rolling….I said that I could see why, considering he lacked the proper plumbing required for an OBGYN visit, to which she replied, they didn’t have the proper instruments either….something about the speculum?
I just didn’t know what to say to any of this today……I guess I could have requested a female nurse….but I figured “Barry” chose this profession, “Barry” could deal with it.