My Visit to the Doctor…Part III

I went to the doctor’s on Thursday……This was after Randy came home with the kids. They had a wonderful day by the way. They always look forward to going to work with their Dad The company Randy works for does a very nice job of handling the kids. Go to the link below and click on “Downtown” under “Stories of the Day”…..each group was broken up into teams. My children were on the Yellow Team.


Now… back to the doctor. It was like old home week in the OBGYN office. You must realize that other than when I was pregnant with the children, I only go there once a year for my annual visit. The nurses had to see an updated picture of the kids and gush over how much they’ve grown…..One kept exclaiming ….”my baby is 9 now?” The head advice nurse in the office, who became a dear friend, came out of her cubicle to visit. She helped me so much when Randy and I first got married. She was there listening to me rant and cry thru the stress of dealing with his mom… we were living with his parents our first year of our marriage, I needed someone to confide in.

They were still laughing over the original appointment being made for my 11 year old son…..Yes,I thought it was rather funny myself.

I am escorted back, and of course you have to stop and do the obligatory “get on the scales” part, which is the point where I ask my husband to turn his back and he just sighs….Then off to the exam room and told to disrobe from the waist down…..I…… hesitated. The nurse asked me if I was uncomfortable with undressing having a cycle issue. Well….duh….Who wouldn’t be uncomfortable. So she puts one of those waterproof hospital pads on the table then hands me a box with a replacement pad…..I have another opinion on that little boxed pad but I will save that for later….She did say she would go and ask the doctor if it was necessary……and the answer was Yes!

I sent my husband out of the room while I pulled my slip and unmentionables off then let him know it was okay to come back into the room.

There is some humor in this situation……namely my husband’s demeanor thru this whole thing. You see….he has never been with me thru one of these female exams. Never….ever,ever!!! This was the first….he was present when I would go for my prenatal checks…stay in the room long enough to hear the baby’s heartbeat, then leave for the rest of the exam. I asked him if he was uncomfortable being present thru the exam……. He said other than hiding behind the monitor and trying to become a part of the wall…..NAH…he wasn’t uncomfortable at all……:)

What he thought was humorous was the following…..first, I don’t get undressed in front of him…..I hide when putting my pajamas on…..I am a little self conscious about my own body…I am rather “Rubenesque”….That is a polite way of saying obese… least according to the medical profession,but yes, I am overweight. I know it is silly…but I know how to undress, put my pajamas on, all while keeping my first set of clothes on… me it is an art form…That always makes my husband laugh at me…He thinks it is funny….I will usually just go to the bathroom and get undressed.

I told him it wasn’t the removing of the underpants and slip (I was smart and wore a dress just in case). It was the removal of the pad I had on…..He then reminds me of how bad my first two deliveries were….This dear man ,without a word of complaint, would get those really nice long ice pack pads that you snap in half and then shake,(I was given those in the hospital.)line the ice pack with the witch hazel pads, spray me down with the antibiotic spray, ( You know, the nice cool stuff.) and help me put this pad on…(I had conveniently forgotten that..) He said it always reminded him of laying pepperoni out on a pizza….Excuse Me??!! Okay, that is a bad mental image…..but only a man could think of placing 3 witch hazel pads on an ice pack as pepperoni…….

The Doctor came in, and according to him ,did a great job of ignoring him. She mainly spoke to me and directed all of her comments to me…..Yes, she really did a wonderful job of ignoring him……

She walked in and said “Surely I didn’t think I would be able to come in with a complaint of abnormal bleeding and not be examined!?”…..Well…One could only hope in this case! She reviews my medical history and asked about the ovarian cysts that I had no idea I had….Apparently, they were discovered last year during a pelvic sonogram…..Nope…I had no clue!!! My blood work,however, was fantastic!! Her words not mine……so onto the exam.

You know the drill…..scoot your bottom down and feet go in the stirrups….I thought I was completely draped but according to my husband ….he could see everything and he was still trying to become a part of the furniture. He also thought it was very ironic that I am willing to allow him to see me thus, but won’t allow him to see me put my pj’s on…….So I am a little quirky, but I really didn’t think I was that exposed.

Out comes the speculum ….and the light on the long tube. Then I am told that she is going to have to do a couple of biopsies…..WHAT??!!!No on informed me about that…..I wasn’t too thrilled with it either….that HURT!!! According to my husband,it was pretty cool to watch. He said the length of the tube that was used to do the biopsy, was really impressive…..To a man,it is just another tool….To a women, it is another device used for torture, while we endure this mortifying and humiliating exam. She then gives me a few more instructions and leaves the room.

At this point, I asked my hubby to leave… again. I opened up the “sample box” with the pad. That wasn’t a pad!! That was an over sized band-aid…..HELLO…big women here. They really need to rethink what they offer…..Of course had I been thinking, I would have brought my own… I am trying to figure out how I am going to use this thing…..anyway….I muddled thru and finished dressing then walked out to join my husband.

We chatted with the staff for a few minutes and then left…..I am so glad He came with me….I wasn’t prepared for the biopsies and just about came off the table during that procedure…..Poor man…He was so understanding….He let me take a nap when we got home….Nothing like seeing your wife really tortured to give him a little appreciation for what we endure.

I never once thought of how uncomfortable he would be during that exam. Seeing it from his point of view, when I am reluctant to undress in front of him….yeah…I guess it was a little funny.

I just have to wait for the results of the biopsies and schedule my pelvic sono……

The Doc still believes it is stress…but wants to rule out everything else……

Oh, by the way……I will never drag my husband to another exam like that again….I did offer to accompany him to one of his “prostate” exams and he emphatically said NO!!!

He thinks I am funny about not getting undressed in front of him…but we are talking about the man who considers the “Maximum Occupancy ” of the bathroom to be 1…1 person at a time…..I have, on occasion ,teased him and stood at the door opening and closing the door while he stands in the bathroom. I know, I’m not being very nice messing with his obsession on the bathroom….No…this guy is a “one person only in the bathroom” kind a guy….no standing in there having conversations or sitting on the side of the tub visiting……Hey…I have friends that actually do that……

Have you ever wondered why women take it as a common place occurrence and men thinks it’s just downright weird? I have….Women in general are used to going to the bathroom in groups…I think it starts from childhood. You know,when our mother’s take us to the bathroom….Then we have children and we do the same thing. Mom’s always take the kids to the bathroom. When they are toddlers…we can always expect company in the bathroom. I would have kids standing out side the bathroom door crying to get in when I was just in the shower. As mother’s, I think we become immune to the whole bathroom privacy thing….Until the kids gets older, than it is another matter all together…. But any sense of modesty was lost at the first OBGYN exam and every other, proceeding….Oh…and lets not even talk about the labor and delivery….Modesty flies out the window when you are about to give birth and have 7 people staring at the head of the baby as it is crowning. I am sorry, but they are all looking between your legs…..You may not have had 7 people, but I did….I became a high risk delivery when the umbilical cord collapsed.

After the birth, having 3 nurses in there handling your breast, trying to show you how to get your newborn babe to latch on, well…..okay, not much privacy there. Other than the self breast checks and the doctor trying to look away as they are examining the breast …I can’t say I’ve ever been tag teamed ……how can one expect to retain their modesty thru any of that…?!

Then there was baby number 2, whose head was so big, he got stuck ! According to the Pediatric Doctor… he drowned in utero…..Out came the little beenie that fits on the head with the hand pump attachment….pumped up to 40psi (I think…I was a little preoccupied at the time) and out he popped!!! He was such a healthy eater that the nurse asked me to show some other new moms how to nurse…..Weeeellll….You know you can only lead by example….so out come the breast and the different ways of holding a baby to nurse were demonstrated……

Then baby number 3….We had a placental abrupt-ion. (That might have had something to do with trying to teach a group of girls how to “Double Dutch” at 7 1/2 months pregnant. I felt invincible, definitely not one of my brighter moments!!) He didn’t want to come out….Here I am, hospital gown on….hooked up to oxygen and the baby is still up to high… what am I told to do? Hmmmm….I am told to get up on my hands and knees in the bed…..The doctor lays under me, trying to push the baby down…..Now that wouldn’t have been so bad, had the hospital gown stayed up and not fallen off my arms when I got into said position. At this point, I am mortified! Who cares that the babies heart rate is nonexistent!! I am buck naked!!! The mental image I had was my white bum sticking up in the air and my boobs swaying in the wind, beating the doctor in the head while he is trying to push the baby down. I pictured a cow walking thru a pasture with those huge udders swaying back and forth…Need I say more!?….What do I do? I try to lay down and cover myself on the bed thereby crushing the doctor’s head between the bed and my ample bosoms……Modesty? Surely you jest……

Now explain please…….That many people have seen me in my “all together, naked as can be” 3 times! Yet I still, after nearly 14 years of marriage, am still nervous about putting on my pj’s in front of my husband!?

Well go figure…. If you have the answer, share the wisdom…….because I haven’t figured it out…..


April 28, 2007 - Posted by | Humor, Just Life, Labor and Delivery, Marriage, Medical, OBGYN Visit, Observances


  1. Because you most likely will never see said nurses/doctors again, or very rarely. Hubbie….you see everyday. Vulnerability.

    Comment by chocolatechic | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  2. Yes….that would make sense. Seeing him uncomfortable once in awhile isn’t so bad either….:)

    Comment by gingerporter | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  3. Oh boy,your birth stories sound a lot like mine!

    Only, I had 27 people in the room for my DS’s birth, lol!

    I agree, modesty is a hard thing to come by as a mother. But I have been working hard at getting it back. I am a 1 person in the bathroom kinda gal.

    Comment by songbirdy | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  4. honey this is too funny. Thanks for laugh!!!!

    Comment by celticmuse | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  5. You have such a way with words! You are a great story teller!
    I am also a one person in the bathroom gal, unless it can’t be helped! When Dh is gone and the big kids are not with me, the little girls go to the bathroom with me…

    I have to agree with Tanya…it is the vulnerability factor with the Dh.

    Comment by missplacedalaskan | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  6. I hope you results come out good. This exam can be mortifying. Your story telling made me laugh. I hope you feel better soon.

    Comment by Teatime | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  7. LOL I pee in front of Kevin every morning. I wake up while he’s shaving and I waltz in and pee. One day I asked him why is I pee in front of you every morning, but I’ve never seen you pee????

    He made some comment about why I feel it’s ok to pee in front of him. I get all red and ask if it’s ok. No, it doens’t bother him if I pee, but he can’t pee in front of me. lol

    Heck, I forget to shut the door half the time. When it’s just my DD and I at home, I never shut the door, lol. If it weren’t for the 9 year old DS I probably never would either, lol.

    I agree it has to do with the whole last-trimester-of-your-first-pregnancy thing. Once you visit a group practice, and every Dr in the place has had their hand up your business in less than a month…. what difference does it make anymore? lol

    I still want to slap those nurses who feel they must grab your breast w/out asking to see if you milk has come in yet. What is up with that? Maybe it’s because I used to milk cows, but I find it particularly rude. I am NOT a cow, and no one needs to check if my udder is full. I’m perfectly capable of letting them know the status of that issue.

    Hope you get some answers Ginger. (((hugs)))

    Comment by Jessica(N) | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  8. 😆 😆
    You got me in trouble w/my husband. Here we are both in the bedroom on line on our laptops and I’m shaking the bed as I laugh over the pictures that are forming in my mind from what I am reading here. 😆 there are tears streaming down my cheeks. 😆

    I have to admit that I would never ask my husband to come to a GYN visit. Not that I would expect him to want to be there. He was present for both kids labors & c-sections and I think that was more than enough.

    Keep us updated as to how things go and what the test results are.

    Comment by Elaine | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  9. That would have been funny to see……Did your husband sit there and just shake his head?
    Mine did in between laughing…..He thought it was funny.

    I’m glad you like it Beth…..Thanks.


    Thanks TeaTime and Celtic Muse….I’m glad you enjoyed my tail…:)

    Comment by gingerporter | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  10. Okay Jessica….You are what 6-7 months pregnant?

    You can be excused….I can only go into the bathroom if hubby is in the shower and the curtain is pulled!!!

    I can understand the “one person occupancy” thing…..but if you knew some of the other stories of when I grew up…..Whew….Well maybe another day….:)

    Comment by gingerporter | April 28, 2007 | Reply

  11. As a practicing OBGYN, I’ve seen it go both ways. Some husbands do attend exams with their wives or significant others, but most don’t. A few have “issues” with the whole gyn exam thing. I once had a patient when I was working in an ER many years ago that asked me to please NOT tell her husband, should our paths cross later during the ER visit, that she’d had a pelvic exam.
    As for your issues regarding pajamas and such, well… having spent 30+ years as a gynecologist, I can only say everyone is a little different. You clearly have self-image problems with your body and nudity, it’s probably partly due to your weight issues. I can only say that I’m sure that your husband loves you and thinks you, the mother of his children, are beautiful. 🙂
    John Jones, M.D.
    “The Florida Gynecologist”

    Comment by John Jones, M.D. | June 26, 2007 | Reply

  12. My wife and I are pretty open about b.r. activities. Real open, in fact.

    About the hubby and the exam thing, I work in health care, and didn’t have a huge problem with exams until a couple of issues arose at my facility. I’ve since asked my wife to see a woman, or to bring me for gyn exams, she’s OK with either. The vast majority of docs are ethical and proper in the exam room, but some aren’t.
    This works out OK for us, anyway.

    Comment by tartan | July 24, 2007 | Reply

  13. I should add, she’s welcome at ALL of my appointments too, and is usually there.

    Comment by tartan | July 24, 2007 | Reply

  14. I haven’t run into any of that, Thank goodness. Our Doc’s office won’t allow a patient to be examined with out the nurse or cna present. Even if the doctor is a female. I should be grateful for that.

    LOL…I usually schedule my husband’s appointments and go along….just not into the exam room. He was not very gracious when I offered to accompany him….he just sort of growled…..:)

    Comment by gingerporter | July 24, 2007 | Reply

  15. Gotta say yours was one of the most enjoyable accounts of a visit that I’ve ever seen! Love that you have ALMOST no issues and are so super open with hubby. Wish my wife was as comfortably open and honest as you are with him.
    I’ve been through four successful deliveries and two miscarriages with wife, not to mention school, over 1000 hrs of ambulance time and hospital clinicals at the e.r. did alot of the pre-hospital emergency treatment for her myself..I USED to be a state licensed paramedic. You would think she’d be more comfortable with me. Decide to allow license to expire…if wife can’t be comfortable who should?
    As far as the bathroom, showers and baths are fine, even peeing if necessary but thats definitely where I draw the line. She and I have no modesty issues and I think I have seen just about everything in life. She’ll change in front of me and ditto, but me at the gyn? I can drive her but not only “no” but she says “hell no” being with her. I certainly respect her wishes but I think it’s religious guilt or privacy issues. Whatever.

    Just so ya know Rob…..I have gotten much better about my ALMOST issues… 🙂 Did I forget to put in that I made him leave the room when I changed? Hmmmm I was pretty sure I put that in….LOL

    But I did…made him leave the room then come back in……He was a good sport. Now…do you think he will allow me to accompany him? Nada! ! Nope! Never! 🙂

    Comment by Rob | July 1, 2008 | Reply

  16. I am roaring with laughter.

    Nice to see you….!! How have you been? It was funny…. 🙂

    Comment by Shirley | July 21, 2008 | Reply

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