My Visit to the Doctor…Part III
I went to the doctor’s on Thursday……This was after Randy came home with the kids. They had a wonderful day by the way. They always look forward to going to work with their Dad The company Randy works for does a very nice job of handling the kids. Go to the link below and click on “Downtown” under “Stories of the Day”…..each group was broken up into teams. My children were on the Yellow Team.
Now… back to the doctor. It was like old home week in the OBGYN office. You must realize that other than when I was pregnant with the children, I only go there once a year for my annual visit. The nurses had to see an updated picture of the kids and gush over how much they’ve grown…..One kept exclaiming ….”my baby is 9 now?” The head advice nurse in the office, who became a dear friend, came out of her cubicle to visit. She helped me so much when Randy and I first got married. She was there listening to me rant and cry thru the stress of dealing with his mom… we were living with his parents our first year of our marriage, I needed someone to confide in.
They were still laughing over the original appointment being made for my 11 year old son…..Yes,I thought it was rather funny myself.
I am escorted back, and of course you have to stop and do the obligatory “get on the scales” part, which is the point where I ask my husband to turn his back and he just sighs….Then off to the exam room and told to disrobe from the waist down…..I…… hesitated. The nurse asked me if I was uncomfortable with undressing having a cycle issue. Well….duh….Who wouldn’t be uncomfortable. So she puts one of those waterproof hospital pads on the table then hands me a box with a replacement pad…..I have another opinion on that little boxed pad but I will save that for later….She did say she would go and ask the doctor if it was necessary……and the answer was Yes!
I sent my husband out of the room while I pulled my slip and unmentionables off then let him know it was okay to come back into the room.
There is some humor in this situation……namely my husband’s demeanor thru this whole thing. You see….he has never been with me thru one of these female exams. Never….ever,ever!!! This was the first….he was present when I would go for my prenatal checks…stay in the room long enough to hear the baby’s heartbeat, then leave for the rest of the exam. I asked him if he was uncomfortable being present thru the exam……. He said other than hiding behind the monitor and trying to become a part of the wall…..NAH…he wasn’t uncomfortable at all……:)
What he thought was humorous was the following…..first, I don’t get undressed in front of him…..I hide when putting my pajamas on…..I am a little self conscious about my own body…I am rather “Rubenesque”….That is a polite way of saying obese…..at least according to the medical profession,but yes, I am overweight. I know it is silly…but I know how to undress, put my pajamas on, all while keeping my first set of clothes on…..trust me it is an art form…That always makes my husband laugh at me…He thinks it is funny….I will usually just go to the bathroom and get undressed.
I told him it wasn’t the removing of the underpants and slip (I was smart and wore a dress just in case). It was the removal of the pad I had on…..He then reminds me of how bad my first two deliveries were….This dear man ,without a word of complaint, would get those really nice long ice pack pads that you snap in half and then shake,(I was given those in the hospital.)line the ice pack with the witch hazel pads, spray me down with the antibiotic spray, ( You know, the nice cool stuff.) and help me put this pad on…(I had conveniently forgotten that..) He said it always reminded him of laying pepperoni out on a pizza….Excuse Me??!! Okay, that is a bad mental image…..but only a man could think of placing 3 witch hazel pads on an ice pack as pepperoni…….
The Doctor came in, and according to him ,did a great job of ignoring him. She mainly spoke to me and directed all of her comments to me…..Yes, she really did a wonderful job of ignoring him……
She walked in and said “Surely I didn’t think I would be able to come in with a complaint of abnormal bleeding and not be examined!?”…..Well…One could only hope in this case! She reviews my medical history and asked about the ovarian cysts that I had no idea I had….Apparently, they were discovered last year during a pelvic sonogram…..Nope…I had no clue!!! My blood work,however, was fantastic!! Her words not mine……so onto the exam.
You know the drill…..scoot your bottom down and feet go in the stirrups….I thought I was completely draped but according to my husband ….he could see everything and he was still trying to become a part of the furniture. He also thought it was very ironic that I am willing to allow him to see me thus, but won’t allow him to see me put my pj’s on…….So I am a little quirky, but I really didn’t think I was that exposed.
Out comes the speculum ….and the light on the long tube. Then I am told that she is going to have to do a couple of biopsies…..WHAT??!!!No on informed me about that…..I wasn’t too thrilled with it either….that HURT!!! According to my husband,it was pretty cool to watch. He said the length of the tube that was used to do the biopsy, was really impressive…..To a man,it is just another tool….To a women, it is another device used for torture, while we endure this mortifying and humiliating exam. She then gives me a few more instructions and leaves the room.
At this point, I asked my hubby to leave… again. I opened up the “sample box” with the pad. That wasn’t a pad!! That was an over sized band-aid…..HELLO…big women here. They really need to rethink what they offer…..Of course had I been thinking, I would have brought my own…..here I am trying to figure out how I am going to use this thing…..anyway….I muddled thru and finished dressing then walked out to join my husband.
We chatted with the staff for a few minutes and then left…..I am so glad He came with me….I wasn’t prepared for the biopsies and just about came off the table during that procedure…..Poor man…He was so understanding….He let me take a nap when we got home….Nothing like seeing your wife really tortured to give him a little appreciation for what we endure.
I never once thought of how uncomfortable he would be during that exam. Seeing it from his point of view, when I am reluctant to undress in front of him….yeah…I guess it was a little funny.
I just have to wait for the results of the biopsies and schedule my pelvic sono……
The Doc still believes it is stress…but wants to rule out everything else……
Oh, by the way……I will never drag my husband to another exam like that again….I did offer to accompany him to one of his “prostate” exams and he emphatically said NO!!!
He thinks I am funny about not getting undressed in front of him…but we are talking about the man who considers the “Maximum Occupancy ” of the bathroom to be 1…1 person at a time…..I have, on occasion ,teased him and stood at the door opening and closing the door while he stands in the bathroom. I know, I’m not being very nice messing with his obsession on the bathroom….No…this guy is a “one person only in the bathroom” kind a guy….no standing in there having conversations or sitting on the side of the tub visiting……Hey…I have friends that actually do that……
Have you ever wondered why women take it as a common place occurrence and men thinks it’s just downright weird? I have….Women in general are used to going to the bathroom in groups…I think it starts from childhood. You know,when our mother’s take us to the bathroom….Then we have children and we do the same thing. Mom’s always take the kids to the bathroom. When they are toddlers…we can always expect company in the bathroom. I would have kids standing out side the bathroom door crying to get in when I was just in the shower. As mother’s, I think we become immune to the whole bathroom privacy thing….Until the kids gets older, than it is another matter all together…. But any sense of modesty was lost at the first OBGYN exam and every other, proceeding….Oh…and lets not even talk about the labor and delivery….Modesty flies out the window when you are about to give birth and have 7 people staring at the head of the baby as it is crowning. I am sorry, but they are all looking between your legs…..You may not have had 7 people, but I did….I became a high risk delivery when the umbilical cord collapsed.
After the birth, having 3 nurses in there handling your breast, trying to show you how to get your newborn babe to latch on, well…..okay, not much privacy there. Other than the self breast checks and the doctor trying to look away as they are examining the breast …I can’t say I’ve ever been tag teamed ……how can one expect to retain their modesty thru any of that…?!
Then there was baby number 2, whose head was so big, he got stuck ! According to the Pediatric Doctor… he drowned in utero…..Out came the little beenie that fits on the head with the hand pump attachment….pumped up to 40psi (I think…I was a little preoccupied at the time) and out he popped!!! He was such a healthy eater that the nurse asked me to show some other new moms how to nurse…..Weeeellll….You know you can only lead by example….so out come the breast and the different ways of holding a baby to nurse were demonstrated……
Then baby number 3….We had a placental abrupt-ion. (That might have had something to do with trying to teach a group of girls how to “Double Dutch” at 7 1/2 months pregnant. I felt invincible, definitely not one of my brighter moments!!) He didn’t want to come out….Here I am, hospital gown on….hooked up to oxygen and the baby is still up to high…..so what am I told to do? Hmmmm….I am told to get up on my hands and knees in the bed…..The doctor lays under me, trying to push the baby down…..Now that wouldn’t have been so bad, had the hospital gown stayed up and not fallen off my arms when I got into said position. At this point, I am mortified! Who cares that the babies heart rate is nonexistent!! I am buck naked!!! The mental image I had was my white bum sticking up in the air and my boobs swaying in the wind, beating the doctor in the head while he is trying to push the baby down. I pictured a cow walking thru a pasture with those huge udders swaying back and forth…Need I say more!?….What do I do? I try to lay down and cover myself on the bed thereby crushing the doctor’s head between the bed and my ample bosoms……Modesty? Surely you jest……
Now explain please…….That many people have seen me in my “all together, naked as can be” 3 times! Yet I still, after nearly 14 years of marriage, am still nervous about putting on my pj’s in front of my husband!?
Well go figure…. If you have the answer, share the wisdom…….because I haven’t figured it out…..