Ginger

I am so Confused….Let’s not forget Angry

My daughter is angry. Rightly so. It is concerning a phone call that I wasn’t able to interrupt her hearing. I am angry. I want something done but pushing people in directions they are not willing to go is difficult. I keep telling myself there is a lesson to be learned here…..I just wish I knew what it was.

More to come later….

I had a very serious migraine last night…in fact I had it all day. I took a shower, took meds anything and and everything to try and get rid of it so that I could enjoy the kids piano recital. I managed to have it somewhat under control. The lighting in the church just set it off again. I sat all the way in the back of the church with my darkest sunglasses so that I could hear the kids play. It was also the closest exit to the bathroom. This was one of those vomiting kind of headaches. I haven’t had one like this in probably 8-10 years. I was at least pretty clean. I had only taken 3 showers yesterday…..:)

My not acknowledging my MIL was apparently offensive….nor staying after the recital for the social was offending to the piano teacher (NOT). Please interpret this as MIL’s issues. I called and apologized to the teacher who said she knew why I wasn’t there. She understood and knows the MIL. Knows the issues we are dealing with.

She was also offended that the kids were so guarded with her in their manner and speech. Well…DUH!!!

I offered to apologize to the FIL….but hubby said NO!!! I was not apologizing to anyone…..especially for something I didn’t do……This post won’t make sense to many….but to those who know….what can I say…?

She puts me in fright and flight mode…..I try to fight it….maybe that is the lesson God is trying to teach me…..that HE is not the author of fear. He is also the high priest and I am to take my petitions to Him.

My faith is weak now…..I want to run from this…..I want to take my children and run…..but I know that isn’t the answer.

How to deal with my children though…..My daughter is angry, my one son is scared….the other ambivalent and feels he should hide if she comes down our street….which she hasn’t done yet…..but it is only a matter of time……

When the phone rings and I see the number, my stomach starts to churn and feel like jello. My hands start shaking and my blood pressure rises….I guess that is the closest to an anxiety attack I have ever come to…….

More Later……….

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June 1, 2007 - Posted by | Children, Friends, Growing up, Just Life, Marriage, Observances, Sanity, Uncategorized

17 Comments »

  1. ((((HUGS))))

    It is so hard being around people with serious issues like that, especially if they don’t see the need for getting help.
    We know someone here…deep down he loves God but boy, he can be destructive when he is in one of his ‘moods’. He needs help too, for the sake of the people around him, whom he is destroying with this abuse.

    Your hubby is right, there’s no need to apologise for anything.

    Prayers for you, hon. May Jesus give you the wisdom and strength to deal with this.

    Comment by sumijoti | June 1, 2007 | Reply

  2. I can’t imagine the physical or psychological
    pain you and your family are suffering from
    your MIL illness. Please know that you are in
    my thoughts and prayers.

    Comment by Dr. Pepper | June 1, 2007 | Reply

  3. Oh, Ginger, I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. I pray you are feeling better today. I’m sorry you missed out on enjoying the kids recital, and that MIL was so horrible to you.
    You can run away to P’burg and hide out with us! We leave here on Tues.

    Comment by missplacedalaskan | June 1, 2007 | Reply

  4. Honey, you will learn what God wants you too in your time. I’m sorry that you are dealing with this. Everyone has their crosses to bear and lessons to learn. You can do this I know that you can. Be strong, read your bible and pray. Know that many love you.

    Comment by celticmuse | June 1, 2007 | Reply

  5. Oh Ginger… I’m sorry… big hugs! My door is always open!

    Comment by TrustingGOD | June 1, 2007 | Reply

  6. Well Ginger, I don’t know the full story and I can only imagine the many difficulties with your MIL. I want to let you know that I’m praying for you and your family. I’ve been dealing with a little bit of confusion myself the last couple weeks and it is unpleasant. It feels like a big wedge between me and God and I know it is ME not seeing what HE wants me to see.
    I hope your miserable migraine is over soon! :hug:

    Comment by Sheri | June 1, 2007 | Reply

  7. Hugs to you, Ginger. I hope you are feeling better now.

    Comment by jodysgirl94 | June 2, 2007 | Reply

  8. So, why was she allowed to come to the recital in the first place???

    Comment by chocolatechic | June 2, 2007 | Reply

  9. ((((HUGS))))Ginger….if you need to talk let me know, I’m here for you.

    Comment by heathertopia | June 2, 2007 | Reply

  10. 3 showers in one day? That’s clean! But I am so sorry that you had such a horrible migraine (and etc). 😦

    Ginger 😦 ((((hugs))))

    Comment by Donna | June 2, 2007 | Reply

  11. I am sorry you were feeling so bad during the recital. 😦 I am also sorry for all that you are dealing with. (hug)

    Comment by appliejuice | June 3, 2007 | Reply

  12. (((HUGS)))
    I’m sorry about the migraine and that it ruined a wonderful day for you. Get hubby to give you massage, helps to relax you and relieves stress.

    And he’s right it wasn’t your fault and you shouldn’t feel bad or apologize. I’m sure your kids were just happy that you were there even though you felt lousy. Remember to take things, see who they’re from and then take it all with a grain of salt.

    I think that you all need a vacation and don’t tell family where you are going.

    Comment by Elaine | June 3, 2007 | Reply

  13. Thank you everyone for the prayers. I wanted to address each comment individually but then decided it would take me too long. But I do thank each of you……

    Running to P’burg is looking more enticing as the days go by….

    It wasn’t my idea and she knows the teacher so no keeping secrets there…

    Yes…after three showers I was clean….:)

    Comment by gingerporter | June 3, 2007 | Reply

  14. Any chance of the Alaskan Pipeline needing a computer geek?

    It’s looking better and better everyday…..

    Comment by gingerporter | June 3, 2007 | Reply

  15. Ginger, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Just lean on the Lord, pray, and keep supportive friends around you. Turn the phone and the answering machine off and ignore her. I know easier said than done. Been there done that. Talk freely with the children about it and calm their fears. Let them journal about it so that they are getting their feelings out. Give them constructive outlets.

    I hope and I will be praying that things get better.

    love ya.

    Comment by Bobbie | June 4, 2007 | Reply

  16. Thanks Bobbie….that’s what I’ve been trying to do with them. C has been doing this and we make sure we talk to them about what they are feeling.

    They know what they feel, they just lack the ability to vocalize how they are feeling. They know they are angry but it’s hard to pinpoint what they are angry with……I’m trying.

    Comment by gingerporter | June 4, 2007 | Reply

  17. I don’t really have a comment…just want to know what to do about a situation I’m currently in. I am a single parent of two who was born & raised in texas and decided to move to Georgia with my sister. The thing is one of my daughters was in pre-k & went to my mom’s after school and the other daughter stayed at my mom’s all day while i was at work. I feel that I have made a bad decision in moving here, but with all the praying I’m doing I feel as though I’m missing the answer God is giving me. Please help b/c I need to make a decision soon. Thanks!

    Comment by Terri | November 6, 2007 | Reply


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