Today is our 14th anniversary. It has been an interesting 14 years to say the least. For those in the know….the calls have all ready started. We are assuming they will continue thru out the day and into the 11th.
We have considered changing the date to when we would celebrate……The date we came up with was Dec 8th. There is a story behind that date.
We had all ready been dating for a year and a half. The first time we held hands had only been a month or two prior to the above date. My “boyfriend” at the time, had taken me out to dinner. “Manny Moon’s” Pizza and Italian restaurant. We had a lovely dinner. I had the lasagna and he had the chicken marsala. He always gets that when we go to an Italian place. It is one of his favorite meals.
He took me back to my apartment and dropped me off. I still had to get ready for work. I worked midnight shift in the computer room.
You must remember that I am only 5’2.75″ (every little bit helps)….:) My husband is 6’5″.
I waited until he had gotten down about two steps. This meant I could actually reach him. I stopped him and gave him a hug thanking him for dinner. I then went to kiss my “boyfriend” on the cheek.
Do you think that was good enough for him….? NOPE!!!
He MOVED!!! He had the audacity to move his face and I hit him smack on the lips. Mine to his……I jerked back so quickly and was standing there stammering and blushing the deepest red you could imagine on my face.
He had the nerve to ask me why I was so red as he stood there just grinning the biggest, sheepish grin he could muster. He knew what the matter was…….I stammered some more and explained that I only meant to give him a peck on the cheek.
In that male arrogance that every man possesses. He just looked at me and said, “Well, we can do better than that!”
He leaned forward and kissed me again.
After dating for a year and a half…..that was our first kiss.
That is what I want to remember.
Our original date of marriage has come to represent something dirty,vile and hateful. I dread tomorrow and the 11th.
It was a nice wedding. All of my husband’s family were there and some of mine and several of our friends. We spent our honeymoon in the same place we married. It was a lovely house and it was generously given to us for the week. It was funny. The “Best Man” slept down stairs on our honeymoon night.
I joked about our honeymoon week being a NAME Family reunion. I thought it was kind of nice though, because I was given the opportunity to get to know some of my husband’s family. An opportunity that I didn’t think would ever come again…..Not realistically any way.
The church was lovely. A friend of mine, who is a florist, gave us the flowers for the church as a wedding gift. The food was delicious. The “Best Man” and my husband were arguing over the one dish. They thought it was a type of Tuna Salad and it was homemade Turkey salad.
The one thing I was ashamed of though…….I was 5 months pregnant. I knew in my heart that it was wrong and felt dirty. Even though I knew I was forgiven for that…..
((By the way….that’s what one kiss can lead to……Whether you agree with my beliefs or not…..))
But to have it constantly thrown in my face…..Well…over the years I have come to dread this day…..Every year (there might be one or two that were quiet) since that first day it has become a day of misery, filled with hateful, malevolent twisted words.
None of this comes from my husband. He and I have tried to not allow anyone to ruin this day…..but it will never end.
I asked him if we could get remarried on a different day in a different place….and he said what we have is just a piece of paper that was signed legally….We can choose to celebrate any day we would like.
I thought at first that Dec. 8th would be a good day…It holds a fond memory that still has the power to make me blush….much to my husbands enjoyment.
As I sat here writing this…..a thought came to mind….Everyday should be a celebration for us. In the light of what we have faced over the past 14 years…..everyday should be a celebration of our trust and love for each other.
He quite humbly said, the other weekend after dealing with an extremely difficult emotional charged issue, that he didn’t know why I stayed with him all these years. Especially in dealing with what we’ve had to face. The simple truth is that I loved him too much to walk away in spite of everything.
My husband is one amazing man. He has always been faithful and never even thought of doing anything that could possibly damage that trust. The same can be said of me…..we have had to deal with an outside force that has nearly torn us apart.
Dealing with what we are going thru this year……for the first time in all the years we have had to deal with these issues….and yes if you don’t know you will just have to guess….and odds are you will be wrong. I can say what a blessing it has been in one respect.
It has made us stronger. It has drawn us closer together. It has rid us of some emotional baggage that wasn’t easy to let go of…….
Soooo…..in light of all of that. I will keep today…..with all of it’s pain and sadness….it can still be a day for rejoicing.
WE have survived another storm…this one ranks pretty close to the destruction of a class 5 hurricane. We will clean out the debris again….sweep away the ugliness and focus on what has been done in our lives.
Happy Anniversary…..R&G…..14 years!!!!!