Ginger

Common Sense…and a few of my own lack thereof incidents

What would common sense tell you…..if you were listening?

Hmmmm….Common sense might tell you to remove the clothes and towel you placed on the couch prior to attempting to vacuum the couch. It is never a good thing to pick up the vacuum and attempt to run it along the cushions if you didn’t remove the aforementioned items. Do you have any idea how noxious the smell is from a towel getting stuck in the vacuum cleaner belt? I can tell you here and now…..if you don’t turn off the vacuum and are still trying to vacuum the couch with the towel stuck in the belt…..It stinks!!! Leaving the vacuum cleaner on while trying to pull the same towel out of the belt doesn’t work either. A good sign to recognize when pondering just when you should shut off the vacuum cleaner……? When you see smoke coming out of the side of the vacuum cleaner. The burning smell of a vacuum cleaner belt that has been left on long enough to start visibly smoking rivals that of burnt microwave popcorn. It lingers in the house for daaaayyyssss. Sadly, I must own up…..that was one of my children. It was the soon to be 14 year old. Some things you just have to learn by making your own mistakes. I really hope that one isn’t repeated…..I couldn’t handle another few days of smelling burnt belt.

I will also admit to being accused of having no common sense, but that was of course when I was a child. I was told I had book sense but no common sense. I don’t recall very many examples in my own life that could possibly lead one to arrive at that conclusion….but there are a few. If I am going to tell on others….I really shouldn’t leave myself out.

There are only two that really stick out in my museum of a memory. I am sure were I to call my mother she might be able to come up with a couple more……okay…so now I thought of three….but in a life of 43 years…three isn’t bad.

Incident Number 1…which should be followed with a disclaimer of never trying this at home. Especially not the inside of your home. I must also state that the original incident wasn’t caused by me….it was the fix to said incident that wasn’t very bright….but hey I was only about 10-11 years old and was working with limited resources.

I would like to encourage any parent who decides to go out for awhile to not leave 3 children at home who have the potential to get themselves into trouble because two of them are bored and they are also of the male persuasion…especially if there is any chance of them getting a hold of their fathers firecracker stash or the gunpowder stash.

Sulphur really does have it’s own unique smell. It isn’t one you can hide easily….but I will tell you that lemon pledge works really well….:)

My parents were gone for some reason…all I can remember is that my youngest sister at the time was with them. Several of the neighborhood boys were gathered outside my brother’s bedroom window…trying to catch firecracker’s. It really was the dumbest thing. The boys would throw them out the window…some lit some not. The boys below would light the ones not lit and throw them back into the window. I want to say that this went on for probably half an hour or so…….You have no idea how quickly a house can fill up with that burning sulphur smell until you realize your parents are due home soon.

Being the oldest, and knowing that no matter what the boys did wrong, even though they would get a spanking….you would get double or triple their punishment, simply because you are the oldest, you will frantically run through the house to come up with something that would cover that smell. Aha!!! You see the can of lemon pledge. You go from room to room spraying heavily into the air…..praying as you go that God will have mercy on you and help the lemon pledge to cover the sulphur smell.

There is just one very small minute detail that you overlook. Furniture polish sprayed in the kitchen will fall to the linoleum floor. You don’t take into consideration what furniture polish does to a linoleum floor until your Father comes home. It still doesn’t dawn on you while your father stands at the front door removing his shoes. You are just sitting there still praying to God that the sulphur smell has dissipated enough that even your gun toting father won’t recognize the smell.

Even as he is walking up the four stairs from the landing and steps onto the top of the stairs do you realize the error of what you have done. You are still waiting for your Father to pick up the underlying scent of gun powder/sulphur.

No…it has still alluded you…..until that final step. It only takes one. There isn’t another opportunity to even think about the second step. It only takes one step….one foot encased in its nice white sock. One heavy, tall man wearing that white sock to realize in a mere micro second that lemon pledge is furniture polish……as that long stride plants that first foot onto the linoleum……it comes sliding out and the rest of the 6’3″ man goes sailing into the air…..but what was even better was the way he slid across that floor when he finally came back down. You realize in that split second just what you did and used…..Oh you thought you were in trouble before…..Nooooo. Now you will get the beating of a lifetime.

I learned two lessons that day….1) go barefoot in the house or wear shoes that have a good rubber sole so you don’t slide on the linoleum floor because wearing socks by themselves is a good way to break your nose. It is possible to break your nose depending on how you land when you go sailing into the air and slide the length of the kitchen when you finally land….2) Lemon scented furniture polish really does absorb odors….especially in carpets and furniture….just avoid the kitchen or any harwood.

I just bet if you check your furniture polish right now…..it might actually have a warning along that line…..do not spray on wood floors or linoleum. I swear that wasn’t me though….some one else must have tried it before me.

Stay tuned for the next installment…..can you believe I thought of another one….?! That means there are four……floor, spaghetti, painted car…I forgot one of them…..Oh well…I’ll remember tomorrow.

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August 30, 2007 - Posted by | Attitude, Boys, Children, Friends, Growing up, Humor, Just Life, Marriage, Observances, Obstacles, Sanity, Teenagers

3 Comments »

  1. That is hilarious, Ginger! We don’t have any Pledge in the house right now, but we have all pergo & tile floors. I pray the kids don’t think of this one.

    Dh is much like you described your younger self…lots of book sense, little common sense…but he is learning!

    Comment by missplacedalaskan | August 31, 2007 | Reply

  2. I’ve never done that 🙄
    We never had fireworks around when I was growing up and I had no idea where daddy kept any of the ammo, though I did know where the guns were. 😆

    Comment by Elaine | September 1, 2007 | Reply

  3. According to my hubby…getting the gun powder out of the ammo is not difficult….:) lol

    You can either use a bullet puller or pliers. Depends on if you want to reuse the bullet……LOL

    It is so a guy thing……

    Comment by gingerporter | September 1, 2007 | Reply


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