Where Have I Been You Ask…..? (Edited to add pictures)
Well…..I will tell you. I have a friend who home schools who had a family emergency. Since she home schools and I home school, who better to ask to keep 5 of your 6 children for you while you take the Amtrak to South Carolina…..? Your other home school friend of course…..DUH!!!!
If you have followed this blog you will know that I have 3 kids of my own. Ages 13,11 and 10. She has 6 but we won’t count the baby since she didn’t stay even though she is as cute as a button. Her children range from 11,9,7,6,4 and the one I didn’t keep 1.5….plus there is another on the way….
What did I learn that week……?
If your van only seats 7 people ….you cannot go anywhere….legally that is….so you are trapped.
If you have a husband like mine, you will thank your heavenly Father every time you pull the waffles out of the fridge. Only my husband would stay up with me to mass produce waffles for all of those children. It also helps to have two waffle irons. Cuts your time in half , trust me on this one. By the way….It is 7 minutes per waffle per waffle iron.
Every family has a different term used in reference to fried eggs. Ours happens to be dippy eggs. You know…..the kind of eggs that you can dip your toast in the center of the egg (in our case it was waffles). Oh…..and not every family likes dippy eggs ….some just like them fried but the yolk need to not be runny please and thank you.
A 19 year old, college bound, teenage male will not win an argument with a group of kids aged 11,9,7,6 and 4 when he wants to know how the “Veggie Tales” are able to pick things up when they have no arms. Especially when “Larry the Cucumber” can eat with chopsticks and play the tuba!!! Well DUH!!! The arms invisible…..everyone knows that!!!
Eight children will eat 1 loaf of bread a day……that’s just lunch mind you. (That’s why you have your husband mix together a 5 gallon bucket of waffle mix….) Okay…maybe 5 gallons is SLIGHTLY exaggerating….
If you serve 8 children the recommended daily allowance of 1 8 oz. glass of milk per meal, assuming you eat three meals a day…..that is 1 and a half gallons of milk a day. (If you have 8 kids, I recommend a cow.) If mom likes to drink milk (which I do)….bump it up to 2 gallons a day.
Milk crates are a great way of keeping up with the extra children’s clothing. Provided they don’t empty the milk crates and stack them because they make the perfect tower when you have friends who have a dad who makes swords to play with. Until someone comes in to tell you to unstack the crates and put the clothes back in them…..after allowing for the correct amount of playtime with said crates….I can be a party pooper.
If you are fortunate enough to have two bathrooms, save yourself some heartache and designate the downstairs bathroom for boys only leaving the upstairs one for the girls. Unless you are the pregnant mother of one 6 year old waiting at the door arguing with her mother who just told her to go down stairs that she can’t because that is the boys only bathroom….rescind the order when the other parents come for their children. Odds are there will be at least one child who is stubborn enough to stand outside the door, legs crossed and argue with their mother…..
It is also very important to go over the house rules the first day of the week when you have 6 more to go…..this is very important. You may need to remind them a second day. Usually by the third, everyone has established the proper pecking order and all rules are understood.
According to my children, the most important rule to tell any and every child that comes to visit…….”What ever you do…..under no circumstances must you ever tell our dad that a) you are bored and b) you didn’t have fun.” Unfortunately, it only takes one time to learn that valuable rule. You will never, ever, ever make that mistake again. Especially if you are visiting a family with a mature oak tree in the back yard that seems to be producing a bumper crop of acorns that year. As my children will explain it to you…..”Dad is great for giving you perspective and if you are not sure what it is……Don’t Ask!!”
Wheatena really is a good filling hot breakfast cereal. It is a cross between cream of wheat and oatmeal but with the consistency of grits. YUM!!! (My husband couldn’t believe I fed the kids gruel. It was really quite good and they said they liked it, at least the way I fixed it.) You can receive almost your entire daily allowance of fiber in that one bowl. At least serve it with a pot of coffee though. I don’t know about you but coffee aids in all things digestive….especially for those possible constipation moments. Did you know that gas can mimic an appendicitis attack in an 11 year old male? I do now. It has something to do with the waste and gas trying to pass through the flecture muscle making that really sharp curve in the intestinal tract on the right side of the abdominal area. The area that is up towards the lower rib cage on the right side. As the gas builds the pain increases thus causing the child to clutch his side in discomfort. On a pain scale of 1-10 he may tell you that it is at a 7. What do you do? You call your friend down the street who got in trouble with Child Protective Services for running an illegal foster home to watch 7 of the 8 kids while you run the gaseous one to Urgent Care. (I love that story….CPS story that is….) It was hilarious to see the look of shock on the CPS worker’s face as my friend pulls out birth certificates for all 8 children that she gave birth to…….When you have 8 kids you also have all the friends of those 8 kids hanging around your house…….How better to keep track of where your 8 kids are when they are in their own yard. I really am glad I don’t have 8 kids though.
I am not sure what the highlight of the week was but hearing my son and the female Pediatrician trading bathroom jokes has to rank up there. She was telling him to go home and “do the doo” to which he replied he would certainly attempt to “do his doody”. I gave up…….
I don’t do cereal. It is just air and fluff and is not very filling. So we had waffles and sausage, waffles as toast with eggs fried or scrambled. This particular morning we had waffles and fried eggs. I can do 6 eggs on a grill, flip them and not break a yoke. Very impressive if i say so myself. We had breakfast, cleaned up, and I gave her three girls a bath and washed their hair. One has hair to her bum. After the baths, brushing out the hair and braiding since I wasn’t going to deal with fly away knotting hair again….I decided we would braid. I had everyone cleaned up ready to go out to play….looked at the clock and it was all ready time for lunch!!! Where did the morning go I ask you? I was all ready for a nap. That was even with the help of my three kids who have a routine.
I am sure that I am missing some other salient points to this past week. My brain is still back on last Monday…..I know that it is a new week…..my body just hasn’t caught up with it. All in all I have a greater respect for Mother’s of large families. It is a lot of juggling and organization to keep a large family running smoothly. It takes a lot of the same to keep a smaller family of 5 but it only takes one day of getting off to really through the week. Needless to say, schooling was not done this week. It was an unscheduled vacation week.
I was still able to make arrangements for my children to continue with their phys ed at the rec center while I occupied the other 5 at home. It was rather comical when my children would come home with messages of the deepest sympathies and regards.
Any one who knows me….personally that is, will tell you that really….this was just another crazy week in the P’s household. It really isn’t any different. We had fun….the kids had fun and I am sure everyone is happy to be back in their own places and have back their own spaces.
What more can I say accept that week was probably one of the smoothest running weeks I have had in a long time….even with the boys gas attack.
Oh…I know what I forgot….Friday, I decided we would just do pizza. We ordered pizza for the kids and subs for myself, my husband and the other kids father who came down to spend the night. His wife came back via Amtrack Saturday evening. Everyone really enjoyed this treat and I managed to feed all 8 kids on just 4 large pizza’s!!!
Have I ever mentioned that hair makes me vomit? I already suffer from sympathy vomiting as it is….but wet hair in the tub drain, wet hair clinging to my fingers after shampooing, hair in my mouth…YUCK!!! It will give me the heaves and more than likely I will puke on you.
I finished the first half of my sub and got halfway through the second half. NOOOO!!! I through it down ran to the bathroom and started to get sick. Yes…there was about a 3 inch piece of hair that looked like it was one of the guys chest hairs or from his beard. It didn’t look like hair from his head. After water picking the mouth full of metal I have…. we went back to the place where we bought our food. I thought I was going to puke again when they offered to make me another sub!!!
I got my money back and won’t be eating another steak and cheese hoagie for at least another 5-6 months.
I think……………That’s the end of the story. For your viewing pleasure……
That is my son assisting with the toasting of waffles. What you don’t see on the other side of the waffles is the bowl of batter. It is a big bowl. he made two bowls of batter.
I hope you enjoyed our little visit.