Update on “I cried”
I talked to my husband and he helped me see that I may have overreacted. I also spoke to the person.
I apologized for assuming what may have not been meant. They reassured me that no…they were in earnest. They also felt that when they hung up from speaking with me that they didn’t handle their end of the conversation well.
I cried again of course. They know my history and understood my feeling and need of acceptance. They are wonderful people but I have always tried not to assume when people offer because my history has always lent itself to the invitation not being sincere.
We were both glad that I called and it was good for me. God has been so good to me and has blessed my life in so many ways that I feel guilty at times for wanting more.
More than for me though, I wanted this for my children. I have been on the search for and praying for a set of surrogate Grandparents. We all ready have one set that the kids love spending time with. They are truly Godly people and love my children even though they are not really their grandparents. They treat them no differently then their own biological children. We live so far away . I just wish that we could visit them more often.
On another note…….
I have been toying with the idea of doing a series of blog posts that would help other women and maybe even some husbands understand how the abuse one suffered as a child can impact their marriage. It does on so many levels. God has been wonderful to me in that my husband is very understanding and we talk through the issues when they crop up. Once in awhile we miss one until it has gotten out of hand. We have never screamed and yelled at each other due to the fact that we both recognize the power of words.
I am not sure if there would much interest in this type of post. I know from talking with many women that I am one of the most fortunate and blessed women in the world. I hear too many times the struggle these women have with their husbands who are either ignorant to how much this affects us and some that don’t even care.
Another issue I would like to touch on is the attitude amongst Christians in general that a Christian should not need counseling or medications. My husband is helping me work on the bible study for the counseling and medication. There are scriptures that point to these two items being okay to do….and even encouraged in some respects. I have seen this detrimental attitude in the more conservative groups of which I belong. But I have been one of the fortunate in that I had received wise and Godly counsel regarding what steps I needed to take to heal from my past. I know there are others who may be seeking that information. There is hope…..It begins with a personal knowledge of Jesus Christ and a growing in the faith.
Anyway……those are just some thoughts.