Dudley, the dumb dog, has gone and done it again…

The above picture is of my two sons along with our two dogs. The more intelligent of the two is the big white dog. Zeus. He is a Pyrenees. We really should have named him “big white rug that snores”. The other dog is Dudley. Dudley is dumber than a box of rocks. He is a lovable guy but dumb. Really. Really. Dumb.

His first mistake in life was defecating in my husbands shoes. His second and third mistake was urinating on our bed.  I wrote a post about that awhile back. It is listed in the sidebar if you are interested in reading the post.

I shipped him off to my mother’s for awhile.  Due to my big heart I brought him back home.  He was homesick and starving himself.  He had lost quite a bit of weight and I was not able to stand by and watch the poor guy do this to himself.

Like an idiot, I brought him home.  The boys were very diligent about taking the dog out and making sure he was not having any more accidents in the house.  Did I tell you this dog is really stupid? He really is the dumbest dog I have ever had the misfortune to own.

This morning I was standing outside on the back deck talking with my husband. I had on my morning attire of sweat pants and no shoes. I know it was cold. My feet were not bothered by the cold.

The boys let Dudley out to go to the bathroom. My husband is standing there watching this dog as he is walking around the deck. He walked over to my leg…

…gave it a sniff and proceeded to lift his leg and pee. On. my. leg!

My husband yelled. I had not realized what that dumb dog had done until I looked down at my pant leg and my foot. Needless to say, my jaw dropped as I stared at the dog. I looked up at my husband loudly proclaiming that the stupid dog just peed on my foot!

My husband being the kind compassionate person that he is, asked if I wanted the 45 or the 38. The dog walked over to the edge of the deck next to the stairs and just looked at me. I was so shocked, I could not even think of a reaction.

Well, that is not partially true.  My reaction was the very strong desire to walk over and give the dog a swift boot to the head. I am against kicking animals but I still thought about it.  I could even picture him sailing over the fence into the neighbors yard.  The desire was there but I could not do that no matter how ticked off I am.

In case you don’t believe me, I had to take a picture.  I will be able to bring this picture up at anytime to prove to my children how dumb this dog is…How loving and kind I am…so far.

I had to take a picture. My husband had to take a picture. After we took the pictures, I went inside and called all three children to the door.

I showed each of them my foot. I asked if they had any idea what was on my foot. You could see it in their eyes.  They knew. They had fear in their eyes. (NOT)

My daughter broke out laughing. My middle son, who claims ownership of the stuppid dog, had tears in his eyes while trying to keep from laughing at me.  My youngest son kept saying, “This isn’t funny!”

My middle son did not know whether to cry or laugh. He knew we had all ready gotten rid of Dudley once and the possibility of us doing it after the dog just urinated on me had increased exponentially.

I was mad but trying not to laugh. As indignant and irritated by this as I was, even I was having a hard time containing the laughter.

My daughter stood there proclaiming that if this were the movies it would be hilarious! Sadly, she is correct.

Oh, and before anyone asks me what I have done to this dog I will tell you exactly what I have done.

I feed him. I pet him. I allow him to lay at my feet when I am napping on my bed. I sneak snacks to him. I brush him. I did not do anything to this dog to make him walk over and urinate on my leg.

My adopted daughter in FLA thought it was hilarious!! She informed me that dogs always mark their territory and have been known to mark their toys also. I was outside talking to my husband. Apparently, I belong to the dog.

I relayed this little tidbit to my husband as we were sitting down to dinner and his jaw flapped open, then shut.  He pursed his lips together and shook his head with the silliest look on his face.  Heather, you left him speechless I think.

I thought it would be funny to get the other side of the story. I told my daughter she should write a post in her blog. You will need to read what she wrote.  I read it all ready and laughed at the accuracy of her description. You will find her point of view at Birdwhisperer. My husband said he would add one also but I am not sure if he has yet.  If you would like to check it can be found at Capital G Geek.

This dog has to go…I don’t think that the dog whisperer himself, Cesar Millan, could straighten this dog out. He’s just that dumb!

I changed into warmer clothes tonight and walked out, yet again, in a pair of sweatpants.  He looked at me grinning, and wanted to know if these were the pants from this morning…



January 2, 2009 - Posted by | Accidents, Attitude, Boys, Critters, Dogs, Family, Just Life | , , , , , ,


  1. […] Mom’s: the tone will be indignant and humorous. She will draw the whole thing out, being detailed and contemplative before she actually gets to the part about Dudley  peeing on her foot. The post itself will be moderately lengthy. There will most likely be a ‘moral of this story’ or advice to mothers and dog owners at the end. She will get lots of comments from people saying that they would have gotten rid of the dog by then as well as from people saying that that is just too hilarious. (which it is) (Added: Mom’s post is now up. You can see it here.) […]

    Pingback by The Tale of Mom and Dog « Birdwhisperer’s Weblog | January 2, 2009 | Reply

  2. Yep, I was pretty close. 😀

    Comment by Birdwhisperer | January 2, 2009 | Reply

  3. Haven’t gone to Birdwhisperer’s blog yet as it is farther down on the list in my reader than yours!!

    First: This wouldn’t have happened to me because A)our deck is out front and the front yard isn’t fenced, B) Prissy wouldn’t stay on the deck long enough to pee on anyone let alone me, C) it is to #$%*&^ cold up here to step outside with out being properly dress for the cold which would include having boots on.

    Second: This is just hularious.

    Third: I’d be pretty mad but would get over it and probably bee loving on the dog a couple hours later in the house as he layed on my lap while I watched a movie (if I ever make it to the couch and away from the computer today 😀 )

    You’re a good mama.

    Comment by Elaine | January 2, 2009 | Reply

    • I thought Colleen’s post was hilarious.

      Yes, were I in the state you are in I probably would have had boots on but the temperature was only in the mid 40’s.

      to be quite honest with you, I really wanted to do something but I am having a hard time getting rid of him. I know that by not doing so and putting up with his antics I have no room to complain.

      Zeus is going to have to be put down. He is not doing well. That is going to be difficult enough on top of getting rid of Dudley.

      Comment by gingerporter | January 2, 2009 | Reply

  4. Dude!

    We had a dog Bouncer that could best be describe as retarded. She could never figure out how to walk on a lease. She would bark at the house when the other dogs barked at something. She never peed on anything.

    Comment by TheDeeZone | January 2, 2009 | Reply

  5. I can see the humor in this, but…
    I can’t believe that dog peed on you! Oh MY!

    Randy, speechless? That is a good one.

    Comment by MissPlacedAlaskan | January 3, 2009 | Reply

  6. Well, if Randy was standing beside you, and Dudley, being Dudley, I could understand his marking HIS territory. He must be jealous of Randy’s attention. Besides – you know how much Randy loves Dudley – but for Randy to be speechless-now that is remarkable. I’m trying not to laugh too much. But it is very funny.

    Comment by woundedlily | January 8, 2009 | Reply

  7. Mother, you’ve been tagged! <- There it is.
    Love you!

    Comment by Birdwhisperer | January 11, 2009 | Reply

  8. How funny and yet how speechless!

    Comment by Wounded Lily | January 13, 2009 | Reply

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